Because I have nothing to do, I failingly try to clean my room and end up creating the world’s biggest mess. The only good thing that has come out of it is that I have finally thrown away some of my useless old clothes and a whole lot of other junk!!
Today, I opened my old diaries. They’re so full of secrets that I had wrapped them with the strongest duct tape in the world. It was a struggle to pull it off. I always duct-taped my diaries when they finished. The tiny locks that come with the diaries can be easily opened with a pin. They are quite useless and very parent/sister/boyfriend/snooper- friendly. I remember my sister and I being obsessively protective about our diaries, she more so than I. I never got around reading whatever she wrote. Not like I didn’t try, but she has always been really good at guarding her secrets. I wonder where she keeps them now. Mine were sitting in my room,- protected and out of reach (I hope). Anyway, so today (all day) I read almost all of my very old diaries. I am sure people who have read any of their old diaries know how it feels. It’s hellishly embarrassing. I actually felt sorry for myself in a funny way. I am not going to tell you these ages’ old, well-guarded and horribly embarrassing secrets, but I would like to share the four constants that ruled my life (and probably still do).
FEELING FAT: I am always hungry, and when I am not hungry I am usually feeling fat. I was the biggest most-hugest girl in class. I hated my fat life and some of the super ‘phat’ girls in my class who always talked about:
-clothes (that never fit me),
-boys (who never noticed me),
-and other cool things that were forbidden for uncool people like me.
Believe me you, I was uncool.
I used to be the side drummer in the school band, the girl who played the side drum in the school march-past (walking) band. The FAT girl who played the side drum on sports day and other idiotic sporty school functions that happened in the school field.
It was really quite horrible. Also, the band was mostly out of tune. You can probably imagine!
I have hundreds and thousands of pages in my diaries that begin with: ‘I am on a diet’ or 'I feel so fat' and are stained with oil marks of cheerios and other soily diet type of foods and fruits.
BOYS, BOYS, AND BOYS: Come on admit it! Life’s no fun without them and if you haven’t ever obsessed about one, there’s something seriously wrong with you (girl!). I am in a way now glad I was fat because if I did get all that attention then, I’d have surely stayed in school for a couple of extra years. I did that later in college. Got some attention and stayed an extra year. Anyway, I must admit I have always obsessed about one boy or the other. Trust me it’s a lot of fun. The diaries had stories of break ups, and make ups, of the 'types' of looks exchanged, and idiotic two-page handwritten cards, dried flowers and fading emotions. Thanks to all of them hotties and the not-so-hotties, life was always, always so full of action.
THE BITCH: Don’t think I need to say much here. In every diary (of a girl at least) there’s always , ALWAYS a bitch. And so did mine. Ever changing but never forgotten. I still quite hate them all for doing all that they did. Slimey, gaming whores…if you know what I mean. ;)
FAMILY, FRIENDS, LOVE – The Good Things in Life:
I have to say I am soooo lucky for having the friends and family I so very much love. I have been fat and frivolous but I have always been loved. All my diary entries or at least most of them have some happy/funny story about my friends or family, besides my usual cribbing; and the ones that are sad, end abruptly because I so had to-had to go call a friend, or talk to mum, or papa, or sis. May be that explains why most of them are embarrassing reads because they are full of bullshit drama that cracks me up now. Most of the stuff that probably goes in real diaries was blabbered away to and taken care of by the wonderful people around me.
Well, that pretty much sums up the diaries I read today. These are old stories but life’s pretty much the same.
I am not THAT fat, I’m quite okay, but I am always hungry and when I am not, I am cribbing about being fat, which is now a habit.
There is this one boy I am obsessive about, thankfully (or at least he makes me feel) he obsesses over me just the same.
Yes, there is (are) a (few) bitch(es) but nothing I can’t take care of (or get over).
And yea’ a whole lot of embarrassing things still keep happening. I am always stuck in some awkwardness. But trust me, it’s all worth it because I still have the most loving and loved people on my side -My family, my friends and my love, the reigning stars of my world. They make this life so very perfect.
I am beginning to hate junk jewelry. I rather wear small dotty earrings. I think I am growing old and snootier.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Sarvangasana: The Shoulder Stand
I think most of my actions and reactions and emotions are driven by anger. I am some times such a hater, I surprise myself. This, although is not going to be about hate (I'll try) but I thought I’ll just make that public so it is conducive to better understanding of what is to follow. If there is anything to follow that is, considering it took me ten thousand years to decide on a blog, and another ten thousand to decide colors and fonts and titles. And then there was this long long wait because I am super lazy.
I am not very old but I am quite an old soul. So you can say I know a lot about people, and how most of them are not really fakes as we sometimes perceive them to be. I think they are only trying to protect themselves. I can’t tell you why I am saying this, but something happened today. It’s a secret.
This person is not a fake, although he/she is certainly lying about certain things…which is kinda okay - we all do it all the time.
I lie a lot and I am quite a good liar. I don’t lie about serious things, or tell life altering lies that make doctors give wrong medicines or anything, but about a lot of other things like telling people who use tube-lights how beautiful their house looks, whereas honestly I think the worst thing god ever made were tube-lights (or whoever made them Thomas Edison or whoever, I don’t much care). All I know is that I hate tube-lights. They depress me. No point telling people who own tubelight lit houses that their house depresses me. Not like they’ll switch to bulbs. They’ll only feel awkward for a while, like two minutes, and I’ll feel horrible for like…ten thousand years!
I think the more people you love or care about, or just have around you, say friends and relatives (the ones you really care about), the more complicated life gets. I mean its as many more problems and misunderstandings and egos and break ups and make ups and all that to handle. All that sometimes makes me go mad!
Talking about what really makes me go madder than just mad are the aunties at yoga. I have been wanting to write about them since forever! And I just realized that I had told just about everyone how there's going to be a blog just about them blog.
And heres why:
My yoga begins at 10 am and I barely make it to class. It’s just so impossible to sleep early and then obviously it’s equally difficult to get up early. Well, I do make it to most classes on time, and once I am there, it’s just so worth the wake. Those aunties of course come after a heavy breakfast, wide awake and always walking in to the yoga place while constantly yapping away on their fancy cell phones. That’s not really that annoying because I am too, a little like that; always on the phone.
What is exxtremely annoying and I feel like turning into a Monkex , which is like turning into a monk by pulling out your hair but not really a real monk or something.
It’s a word someone made up and I think the meaning of which is still going through a lot of modifications and all that. However, I think it will mostly remain along the same line of turning bald into a monk by slowly pulling out each and every single strand of your hair, one by one, and becoming like a monk but not really living monk like.
Anyway, so here are these 40+ ladies who make my mornings, sometimes, quite miserable.
The breathing exercises are okay but they can barely put their legs straight for the shoulder stand. (and I think..Why would anyone their age put themselves through that? Not like a simple shoulder stand will shake the breakfast off!!)
Shoulder stand is not that difficult, actually its quite simple, it only looks complicated (but I don’t think I’ll try it when I am their age, trust me it looks so idiotic when people try doing things that they should have done when they were twenty and not two hundred).
But really, its not like I am trying to sound cool, it is the easiest and one of the most relaxing things to do (for like may be max two minutes). I know you don’t believe me, but please do. In guruji’s words, ‘just you try’.
So anyway, the ladies take about half an hour to get to the shoulder stand or something that kinda looks like one. Okay, maybe not full thirty minutes, more like ten minutes that, trust me, feel like a whole century.
While I am standing on my shoulders - waiting, Guruji goes to each and everyone of them and helps them lift off, watches them rock back and forth and eventually land back on the ground. How that must break his heart, I don’t even want to imagine. How that almost breaks my back, can only be truly captured on a video blog.
I know they are all nice and harmless aunties spicing it up with yoga and all that, but really!!!! If you live in India and ever feel like yoga-ing, which is the greatest way to relax and exercise, just make sure you never go for the 10 a.m. classes. I mostly walk out stressed, feeling - some day (surely one day), I am going to become like them.
Okay, so I tried finding out who invented the tubelight. The thing sucks so bad no body wants to claim its invention it seems. Or everyone tried to better it so there are too many inventors listed online. Some Heinrich Geissler started it all in 1856. But really, Edison rocks all the way!
I am not very old but I am quite an old soul. So you can say I know a lot about people, and how most of them are not really fakes as we sometimes perceive them to be. I think they are only trying to protect themselves. I can’t tell you why I am saying this, but something happened today. It’s a secret.
This person is not a fake, although he/she is certainly lying about certain things…which is kinda okay - we all do it all the time.
I lie a lot and I am quite a good liar. I don’t lie about serious things, or tell life altering lies that make doctors give wrong medicines or anything, but about a lot of other things like telling people who use tube-lights how beautiful their house looks, whereas honestly I think the worst thing god ever made were tube-lights (or whoever made them Thomas Edison or whoever, I don’t much care). All I know is that I hate tube-lights. They depress me. No point telling people who own tubelight lit houses that their house depresses me. Not like they’ll switch to bulbs. They’ll only feel awkward for a while, like two minutes, and I’ll feel horrible for like…ten thousand years!
I think the more people you love or care about, or just have around you, say friends and relatives (the ones you really care about), the more complicated life gets. I mean its as many more problems and misunderstandings and egos and break ups and make ups and all that to handle. All that sometimes makes me go mad!
Talking about what really makes me go madder than just mad are the aunties at yoga. I have been wanting to write about them since forever! And I just realized that I had told just about everyone how there's going to be a blog just about them blog.
And heres why:
My yoga begins at 10 am and I barely make it to class. It’s just so impossible to sleep early and then obviously it’s equally difficult to get up early. Well, I do make it to most classes on time, and once I am there, it’s just so worth the wake. Those aunties of course come after a heavy breakfast, wide awake and always walking in to the yoga place while constantly yapping away on their fancy cell phones. That’s not really that annoying because I am too, a little like that; always on the phone.
What is exxtremely annoying and I feel like turning into a Monkex , which is like turning into a monk by pulling out your hair but not really a real monk or something.
It’s a word someone made up and I think the meaning of which is still going through a lot of modifications and all that. However, I think it will mostly remain along the same line of turning bald into a monk by slowly pulling out each and every single strand of your hair, one by one, and becoming like a monk but not really living monk like.
Anyway, so here are these 40+ ladies who make my mornings, sometimes, quite miserable.
The breathing exercises are okay but they can barely put their legs straight for the shoulder stand. (and I think..Why would anyone their age put themselves through that? Not like a simple shoulder stand will shake the breakfast off!!)
Shoulder stand is not that difficult, actually its quite simple, it only looks complicated (but I don’t think I’ll try it when I am their age, trust me it looks so idiotic when people try doing things that they should have done when they were twenty and not two hundred).
But really, its not like I am trying to sound cool, it is the easiest and one of the most relaxing things to do (for like may be max two minutes). I know you don’t believe me, but please do. In guruji’s words, ‘just you try’.
So anyway, the ladies take about half an hour to get to the shoulder stand or something that kinda looks like one. Okay, maybe not full thirty minutes, more like ten minutes that, trust me, feel like a whole century.
While I am standing on my shoulders - waiting, Guruji goes to each and everyone of them and helps them lift off, watches them rock back and forth and eventually land back on the ground. How that must break his heart, I don’t even want to imagine. How that almost breaks my back, can only be truly captured on a video blog.
I know they are all nice and harmless aunties spicing it up with yoga and all that, but really!!!! If you live in India and ever feel like yoga-ing, which is the greatest way to relax and exercise, just make sure you never go for the 10 a.m. classes. I mostly walk out stressed, feeling - some day (surely one day), I am going to become like them.
Okay, so I tried finding out who invented the tubelight. The thing sucks so bad no body wants to claim its invention it seems. Or everyone tried to better it so there are too many inventors listed online. Some Heinrich Geissler started it all in 1856. But really, Edison rocks all the way!
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